Only you can make me feel this way

Listening to the recordings of AHband on their day of glory sends me chill after chill down my spine. listening to the recording, I can almost feel the excitement, apprehension and resolve in the band.

Being detached from band music and the one organisation that I have felt most for has been an interesting yet empty feeling. Though glad I have experienced new things and opened up my eyes, I always can't help but be hit by a bout of AHband fever now and then.

From the slightly muffled recording of 'Singapore Flyer', i could make out the band sound that i know my juniors have been practicing and pushing so hard towards. When the lower brass soli hit, i was bowled over with emotions. I can almost see Yan see and See onn (thats 3 see's in a sentence) playing their heart out while trying to calm their nerves. You have played very well my dear juniors! And I cannot begin to describe how proud i feel of you two. Euphonium is secretly the best section in AHband always rmb? haha..

The clear articulation i heard in 'Danse Diabolique' has been a fruit of the hardwork the band has put in to practicing this piece. Just from the recording, I can feel that the band has really put in their effort to make play the piece. And the regret in me of not going down to listen to the band just swells.

My dear juniors, another 2 years have passed. I remember 2 years ago when Jlo, Cheng huat and me ventured down to AHband (too free after ORD) to teach the band, have fun and even make liang cha. You have grown much in this time. You should be proud of yourself. Especially the sec4s, for you have experienced the lows and the fight to get back up there. I hope your AHband experience stays with you for a long time.

Now, i hope that the remaining juniors will remember that the journey for SYF 2013 starts now. Everything you do will have an impact on the same day, 2 years later. The baton has been passed on to you. Create your own memories and experiences. NEVER be conceited. Always remember your journey.

AHband, the best is yet to be.

天使的脚步

How amazing is it that sometimes the things you are least interested in initially can end up being the one that you put in most effort and enjoy the most?

As i sit backstage watching the last few scenes of the production, i had to face the unforgiving truth that this will never happen again. There will be another production, but it is a different show, a different cast, different crew, a different feel.

But i am glad this once was so memorable and fun. The saying to have no regrets in what you do and to treasure every moment is most apt here. Sitting at home alone in front of the laptop, typing this, i actually do suddenly miss being in Mrs Lee Choon Guan Theatre, with the props team and all the production team ready to show what we have to the audience.

I was disappointed however at the lack of chance to see the people in the audience after the performance. I guess it is the occupational hazard of being in the backstage/props crew! We rushed to make the 2 trips for the props back to NTU and i must admit it was empty returning to a nearly empty school save for the remaining props crew and Daphne. (Thanks 紫欣！) , Hell, we did not even get to be in the production photo taking session. Supper was much less people than i thought too.

On a side note, Erina you came!? haha.. thought u could not.

Anyway, awesome time i had. Awesome performance by everyone in the team. I guess this sudden rush of emotions to even inspire me to update this dead blog is what draws me back to performing arts, as i try to find that familiar yet distant feeling.

Almost like Twitter

I've come to realise that i study almost daily and even if i did nt do ath, will at least read some paragraphs from a textbook before i sleep.

Screw the CTs in JC that claim that once you pass JC, you've passed the worst part of your study life.

On a side note, i joined rugby and am hoping i do not come out concussed or bloody.

Stomp continues to terrorise SG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isVMTN7FeFA

Stomp on Stompers!

Change

I'm suddenly reminded of Henry's quote on his sub nick once.

"Caucasians are not superior to the Asians, but Asians lose out because of the refusal to change and move on with the times."

Or at least he said sth to that effect. I must be the Asian among Asians.

Sch starts...

Finally after a 2 year plus lull for the rust to form on my brain, sch starts. Should i be feeling so unexcited? A part of me actually yearned for the brainless routine of army.

I can finally feel what I've been hearing about friends in uni complaining, looking at the assignments and lectures in my web mail.

You're looking at the future Dean's Lister!

Mus'art Wind Orchestra

85.58 for WMC! The stress and very long practices were worth it.

What was most special to me was watching the European bands and how they were levels above us in terms of playing. (eg, Banda de Lalin, freaking power Spanish 110 strong band, and they were not even the top band!). The brass complimented the woodwinds perfectly and their tone was deep and round. Even their fff was well balanced and could make the ground below us vibrate. A commendable feat given that the hall was 1000+ strong and looked more like a Expo convention centre. All in all, a once in lifetime experience i wish more people could see and be inspired.

Being in the continent where the instruments are made (A "ADAMS" warehouse was a 30 min car ride away from Rodahal in Kerkrade) and the songs composed sure does make the whole experience a lot more surreal and inspiring. Not to mention the fantastic weather! Too bad Kerkrade was lacking in the festivities, maybe because the day we played was the final day of the contest.

The quaint houses in the countryside was a welcome relief from the hectic city life we see here and in Amsterdam. Making it more memorable were the family who owned the small 10 room hotel cum restaurant. They made sure we were taken care of and made fantastic meals. The missus even told me they were supporting us instead of their own local band taking part in WMC! When we got the good results, they opened 3 bottles of champagne for us to celebrate and that night was one of the most homely and cosy ones. I miss the Hotel Beukenhorst the most of all this trip. A comfortable and memorable week was spent there with many sunset pictures and barn animal encounters. The little boy there even teared as we left for Amsterdam. Hopefully 4 years on we'll see a handsome 16 year old boy welcoming us to the hotel!

Amsterdam was very messy but hidden in corners were gems in Architecture and Arts that were to die for for hardcore Art critics. The city is also made up of many canals, something the naive me had no clue about and it was somewhat like Venice(or at least what i see of Venice in photos). The ironic thing about the city was that although cycling tracks were constructed to encourage bicycle use and discourage vehicles, this was offset by the thick smell of smoke and weed in the air. After all, weed is readily available and legalised and can be found in "coffee shops".

Photos available on my Facebook! Just waiting for people to tag me. I'm jet lagging badly, or maybe I'm intentionally letting myself jet lag and not face the hectic life ahead. Many bonds made this trip, skipping orientation is totally more worth it. Thanks for advising Mona!

Cheers, To WMC, Hotel Beukenhorst and Mus'art Wind Orchestra.

FML

Note to self, NEVER think your bag is safe with anyone else but yourself. Oh well, sorry but no souvenirs.
I'm begginning to think that i visit countries to test the effectiveness of the local police.

Sandwich: S$8
Bus ride: S$5
Taxi (for 5 min) : S$20

Cheers.

Amsterdam!

Wassup, the very few people who read this very dead blog! (Apologies for the lack of inspiration.)

For the less informed, I will be in Amsterdam (or more accurately, Kerkrade) with MusArt for WMC from 26th July till 5th August. So, please do not call my hp when i am there! hopefully, after my 1st trip to Europe(13 freaking hours of flight, OMFG!), i will be reviving this blog a bit.

So take care all of you!

Decade

Win!

It's a new month!

Finally! Gonna end work this week. It's been 2 1/2 months of travelling to and fro NUS which takes up roughly 3 hrs of my day daily. That works out to around 180hrs spent travelling! and that's before adding in the trip down to Mus art on Sundays. Lucky I'm gonna stay in Hall when i start school in NTU. If not this will be multiplied ten or hundreds fold. It doesn't help that i hate travelling time.

Anyway, as a result of me spend hours in the MRT daily, I get to see some pretty interesting situations.

First,
Rushing to work one morning, I brought a cup of Mr. Bean Soya milk on the train. some guy proceeded to stare me down. At this point, I admit I'm at the wrong for that. But what happened later is what got me pondering. He whipped out his handphone camera and played with it so that it looked like he was trying to take a picture of me. When i lowered the cup, so did he to his handphone and the same is for when i drank from my cup. Anyway, after some quick reaction game, i finished my drink and kept the cup in my bag. Only then did he keep his handphone.

The afterthought for me is to of course not bring drinks on the train. But more than that, i learnt that there're many more 'Stompers'/youtube uploaders in SG than i thought there is. I found it incredibly hard to understand why, if he dared to do a very lousy attempt to 'secretly' take a picture of me, did he not dare to just mention to me that i should not drink it? Some people i talked to after that mentioned that maybe he's afraid to get beaten up at the off-chance that i was a thug. But, would you be more pissed if someone told you something or someone tried to sneak a shot of you? Weird. Which leads to the even more interesting 2nd experience...

Second, I was sitting with my friend at the middle seats of the row. I did not give up my seat to a mum and her kid who was old enough to stand by himself. The dad was a little to the side with a pram. Ok, on hindsight, i should have given up my seat right then, after all, i am the lowest in the pyramid chain of 'priority seats'. But to me, i saw the kid was old enough to stand, so din think much of it. Well, what happened after was that reaching the stop they were alighting, I noticed the dad staring hard at me. He was talking quite loudly and angrily and after awhile, i noticed he was actually saying aloud some 'thoughts'. here are some choice selections for your pleasure...

"... Mother never teach..", "...some people get degree or diploma no use at all...", "...no common sense/brain..", "... idiot..."

So anyway, moral of story time.

1. He could have just mentioned and asked for the seat at the beginning instead of having a bitch fit which was effective to make him look like a total loser. Applaud his courage though. I would definitely have given up my seat, as i am sure many people would have given. I mean, is it not possible that people have different idea of who to give up the seat to? Instead of demanding or expecting the priority.
2. His kids might think that's the correct way to get a seat on the train.
3. It would have sucked if i was a thug.
4. Ok, my morals do not allow me to not take any blame for this.

Is the gracious campaign going the wrong way in SG? I've a theory that people think other countries are more gracious because

1. People ask for seats when they need,
2. The amount of time we spend taking a local train would definitely be more than overseas. We're talking about % of when you meet an ungracious act here.

Having just read a forum letter about some guy having a somewhat similar experience, i must agree with his statement. "The attitude of expecting a seat automatically will only bring about resentment, and ultimately breed more ungraciousness." So if you do need a seat, please open your mouth to ask. I'm pretty sure not everyone is 'pretending to sleep'(can't they genuinely be sleeping or not feeling well?) Get over the stereotypes man! I've seen many people giving way and seats. It's just unfortunate it makes better talk to bash the one black sheep than talk about the many other good ones.

Oh btw, i failed to get NDP ticks. Damn. But at least no dilemma on choosing between that and a friend's 21st. Cannot wait for work to end!

Sundown marathon

No no, i did not take part in it.

Looking out of my window now, i can see the 84KM participants of the Sundown Marathon running by. Just watching them gives me this adrenaline high for some reason. I marvel at how they put together an event like this marathon where they run through town areas and roads which are still open for traffic. Next year, i'm gonna get people to go night cycling along, or maybe even take part in it!

It actually reminds me alot of this particular route march i had when still training in SISPEC.

I was trekking the hills and sand paths around the Sungei Gedong camp area in tactical formation (basically meaning i am about 5m from the guy in front and behind me at the sides of the path), giving me lots of alone time to admire the night scenery unfolding before me.
I remember vividly a scene where i was at the top of a hill and looking at the vast expense of vegetation Singapore actually has at the Northwest side of the island for army training. It is an image still etched in my mind as the lingering early morning mist gave the scene a very surreal feeling. It's this scene that left me feeling more for the song 'Training to be soldiers' than i ever did. Of course what followed was a whole lot of shagging events that left me more complains than hot blooded fighting spirit.

I need a much more active lifestyle in university. I haven even tried hiking and canoeing for instance. Put that on the list of things i need to do.

Alright. As it stands now, I've decided to ditch orientation for a trip to Amsterdam with Mus'art for WMC. Anyway just 200+ people get chosen for Biz orientations and I never did like orientations. Once in a lifetime to go WMC eh. who knows if I'm still playing by the time the next one comes. Actually, i don't even know if i can be counted as playing now. Moral of the story, if you've the interest, DO NOT give up on the instrument so easily!

So it's orange alert in Singapore now. I dread this cause my Office has decided that we'll be split into a Team A and Team B to take turns going for work. As I'm paid hourly, that means my pay is effectively cut in half! So much for getting pay watching YouTube videos on a huge screen. I hope i get the odd days eh.. If even days, lagi less money..

I wonder sometimes, are we suckers for melodramatic real life dramas? We seem to like imagining things a lot more than what the reality is, playing a tiring game on ourselves.

No matter. I've got a craving to run, play badminton and to jam in band like on SYF day. Oh, add Carl's Junior to that list too.

Cheers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIZmDHPqGl4&feature=PlayList&p=D6B0C78E936132BF&index=2

Slow me has only just discovered Jason Mraz. Pretty wicked singer. Must prepare for Kbox trip. Haha.. So i think I earn at least $8 or $16 a day (1 to 2 hours) at least watching youtube. Sweet.

Cheers.

1st day of work

Post's not about work. Instead, a government commercial about family.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2XLZsiCBsA
It's amazing how YouTube seems to have all the videos.

Scene: Crematorium, burial of some old guy

Enter old Indian lady. "I'm not going to sing praises for my husband, not today." (Me: another NO drugs / NO gambling commercial?)

"Neither am i going to talk about how good she was, enough people have done so" (Confirm)

"Instead, i wanna talk about some things that will make some of you uncomfortable. 1st off, i wanna talk about what happened, in bed." (!!! Woman really starts to listen now)

"Ever have difficulty starting your engine in the day?" Lady proceeds to snore in a damn humorous way. "It's exactly what David sounded like every morning." Daughter looks uncomfortable. (Haha! How the heck does she do that while keeping such a straight face? Feel damn bad now that my mind is no longer innocent as proven above.)

"But wait! snoring wasn't everything. There was also this rear end wind action. Going on as well." Laughter. "Some nights it would be so forceful, it would wake him up, 'what was that?', he would ask. Oh! It's the dog, i would say. Go back to sleep, Dear." (We find it so easy to laugh when its not us being ridiculed.)

"Oh, you may find all these funny. But towards the end of his life, when his illness was at his worse, these sounds indicated to me that my David was still alive." Cue sad music. "And what i wouldn't give just to hear the sound again before i sleep." (The cruel irony of life hits me. Life loves to play a fool of us.)

The Main point's here.
"In the end, it's these small things you remember. Little... Imperfections... that make them perfect, for you. So to my beautiful children, I hope one day, you too will find life partners who are as beautifully imperfect as your father was to me. "

Beautiful. Had chills running up and down my back throughout the advertisement. The government has won me over this time!

Do we complain so much sometimes that we are blinded by the bliss present right in front of our eyes? It's small things that make the big picture. Small complains that snowballs our dissatisfaction in life and each other, wasting what little time we already have.

To AHband, silver was the imperfection, but the imperfections had created a perfection, in the memories. And like the lady in the film, we shall not cry, but smile when reliving the memories.

Cheers.

The day after

Seems that the closure we try to seek has once again eluded us. Well, that's how life likes to screw with us. Seeing my juniors crying really struck me. I think it just shows how much my juniors have somehow sneaked their way into my heart. Joyann and Gerald wrote really nice notes that made going back down to help all the more meaningful. Oh yeah, I'm proud of the fact that though Euphonium is one of the smallest sections, we've one of the most alumnus, ratio wise, who consistently come back to help out.

I think the band was undone by circumstances far before what could have been saved by just these few months. I still stand by the fact that the band has improved a lot over these months and it is largely because of themselves no matter what they think. They just needed some direction.

AHband is special in the way that we are really an informal, fun family band. We are not professional in our behaviour, and are many times undone by the exact passion that bonds us by getting us too emotionally involved with the band. So it saddens me if on top of the loss of yet another medal is accompanied by the knowledge that the passion is lost. Then AHband has really lost to SYF.

I feel most for the sec3 and 4 batches.

To them, I've this to say. All is not wasted! Look at how much the band has learnt from this and how much fun and memories it brought along. How much everyone in the band has grown and how much enjoyment it brought. Like I've always thought, the magic moment is when the whole band can play together and smile and laugh together. The sec4s will get what i mean when they finally step down and pass on the baton and realise that the hardships they thought they were going through are really the memories most treasured. Sec3s, use this to swing the pendulum to our advantage, i see a strong batch capable of pulling the band up in you.
Mrs Chua has already stated that she'll be with you guys all the way if you all are willing. Which i think is something much more meaningful than a Gold which she feels nothing for.

Thanks for the memories yet again, AHband! This journey may have reached its comma, but AHBand will never hit the full stop.

D-day - 1

AHBand,

I seem to be suffering from some lack of inspiration the closer the day comes.
Feel like all that can be said has been said. Or maybe all that should be said has been said.
So yeah, just go for it. I think you all are the most prepared AHband i've seen. Confidence is high, morale is high and hopes are high. I hope we can ride through the high to end with a high.

AHBand'09 shall hold a special place in my heart!

Cheers.

D-day - 2

Another two more days. Or one if you'll like to be specific. Had fun with the juniors today with Junlong's 'magic school bus'. So yeah, in the end its the juniors that make our day instead of us supposedly going down to make theirs. Haven't had such a lot of laughs and fun in awhile.

We'll be there every step of the way till you all go on the stage. Dun matter how the bands before play, cause its just AHband's playing that matters! Read a blog from a fellow alumni who goes down to help. It's really amazing how much she still feels for a band that she knows very minimal about. I'm a sucker for such behind the scenes love stories. Haha..

I've a theory. I think i put in so much to the SYF also because I'm trying to seek closure to my own SYF. Because i feel i did not do my best then and could have done more. Didn't think an issue 6 years ago still had such a profound effect on me. And i just don't want the juniors to experience the same sadness i once had to endure. That's why i say (though it'll be largely ignored for now), play your best so you've no regrets and think that more could have been done!

Tian xia wu bu shan zi yan xi.

Cheers!

D-day -5

Band, don't you see that you must want the Gold or Gold with honours and work like you crave damn badly for it?

Standard's much higher than years ago. Like i said, it ain't only about getting the notes correct. Though the general feeling is one of pessimism, AHBand is fond of making miracles happen. And that's when the magic works for AHBand. To play a convincing standard and wow the audience. Its normal to doubt oneself along the way, but you must pick yourself up and push on!

Guessing is such hard and tiring work, why don't we just let things be and see how it goes?
Much better to spend time and effort to achieve better things with a clear mind.

Think I'm gonna miss seeing this band. A step towards the goal is a step away from the band.

Cheers.